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Commitment Ceremonies & Same Sex Weddings – Writing Your Vows

Whether you are committing to each other for the first time, or renewing your commitment on a special anniversary, you can plan your own custom ceremony to mark the occasion.

There are often 3 stages to any ceremony. The ‘separation’ stage occurs first. In this part of a commitment ceremony one might choose to honor the past of the participants. Honoring older generations and the events of the past lives you have both led is often a starting point. If children are involved, honoring their place they have held in your life up until now is often a part of the ceremony. Think about what your commitment means to you, what it means to your family and friends, and what it means to your place in the community/society you live in. How can you mark these past events as milestones in forming who you have become and how you have reached this stage in your life? Is there something special you wish to say to these people, or about these events, in your commitment ceremony? Do you have some symbolic gift, or token, you want to pass on to them as a reminder of how special they have been in your life.

The second stage of a commitment ceremony often is a stage relating to the transition you both have gone through to get to this point. Perhaps you would like to speak about how you met, or about how your connection to one another has grown to this point of making a public commitment. Anecdotes from your growth together as a couple can be added for insight and humor. At this time you might choose to reassure those from your past that you are taking them with you into your mew future together … inviting them to join you on this journey forward together. Perhaps at this time family and friends can comment on how they have seen you both grow close together and share their loving wishes for the two of you.

Lastly you can address the future. How do you want to verbalize your feelings towards each other and your commitment going forward? Will you exchange vows you have written for each other, or read from some already prosaic passages that are meaningful for the two of you? Will you exchange rings, kisses, or some other token of affection and enduring love? Do you want a candle lighting to symbolize your new unity together? Do you need to let your friends, children, and family know that they will always be a part of your life and future together?

Throughout your commitment ceremony, intersperse music you have both chosen for this special day. Customize your ceremony to fit your personal style, any new traditions you are forming and any old customs you wish to honor and retain. Try to show some of your personal style and taste along the way. Make your commitment ceremony a welcoming event. You are welcoming each other into a life-long bond of love and trust. You are welcoming your friends and family into this new life together and asking them to welcome you as a couple in return. This is a day of joy and happiness. Customize your commitment ceremony and it will be remembered as a reflection of who the two of you are, and of your love for each other.

Rob Alberti – owner of Rob Alberti’s Event Services specializes in same-sex weddings (DJ, Lighting)

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